So, where to
begin. First, let me apologize for any typos
and what not. I’m groggy and slightly
medicated. Let me start with the good
news. I, of course was right. The
surgery was a breeze and the weeks of anxiety were just pointless.
I couldn’t be
happier with the incredible team at both the Invision Brain and Spine Center as
well as Kenmore Mercy Hospital. My
neurosurgeon Dr. Micheal Landi followed our plan as anticipated. I wish I could fully explain the amazing care
and comfort I have felt from him and his staff.
His team was amazing. Everyone
from the anesthesiologist, PA’s and the entire surgical/recovery was warm,
professional and remarkable. I couldn’t
have been in better hands. The nurses in
the ICU as well as my regular nursing staff have been so accommodating. I am so glad that I listened to my instinct
and went with the team I felt was right for me.
He was the third neurosurgeon I met and I instantly knew he was my guy.
My pain level
has been minimal. Not sure if that the
result of excellent pain management or just my own high tolerance for
pain. A nice cocktail of morphine and
valium helped me through the first 24 hours.
My upper neck is still sore and the now lack of morphine has left me
itchy, but the pain is minimal. I have
had some increase in the numbness on my left side. My hand is actually the same, but there is
now a numbness in my left foot that wasn’t there prior to surgery. This is
merely a reaction to swelling and I am actually able to walk and hobble around
on it. My balance is slightly wonky, but
I am able to walk without assistance. All great things!
Now, that’s
the 100% positive news. Unfortunately,
not everything had gone exactly as we had hoped. Since the mass was inside my spinal column
and the MRI can only reveal so much, until we were able to actually get inside
the spinal column, it was all guessing.
No one knew exactly what we would find. To be blunt, we didn’t get the
results we wanted. We had hoped the mass
would be an ependymoma, a type of encapsulated tumor of the central nervous
system that is easy to remove.
Unfortunately, I just don’t do normal.
The initial
pathology revealed that my mass is an astrocytoma –a rare tumor of the cells inside the spinal column. This
type of tumor is generally found in the brain but can form inside the spinal
cord, which is of course rare. That
probably explains why the mass is so high in my cervical spine. Presentation of
these types of tumors in women is rare as they are often found more common in
children and men. Astrocytomas are
graded from low to high grade. Using the
word cancer is scary, but the bottom line is that until the term low grade
benign tumor is stamped across my pathology report, I have to accept the
possibility that this process could result in some form of radiology and
chemotherapy. My functionality over the
last several months gives up hope that it is in in fact a low grade benign tumor
that will require minimal radiation treatment and I will go about my merry way.
Pathology results for these types of rare tumors don’t get
turned around overnight. So now, we
wait, seven to ten days. I hate the waiting game. Luckily, I have an amazing support team
around me. To say that I’m not scared would be a lie. But, I feel more
confident that I the most amazing team of doctors and medical professionals
ready to heal me.
Beyond of all this, I must stay positive. Despite the less than stellar news, I came
out of an open spinal surgery with a little extra numbness in my foot. There are a thousand other scenarios that
could have happened and I have to be accept the ones presented to me. Simply because this is the one that I have to
tackle. Nothing before these moments matter.
Healing is about moving forward.
And that is all I can do. Set my
goals, move forward and know that I have the most amazing support network of friends,
family, phamily, loved ones and an amazing fiancé. I don’t mention David enough through my
blogs, but he is simply astounding. His
love, laughter, kindness, understanding and pure tenderness through some of the
worst moments of my life have made me realize that I was truly blessed with the
perfect soul mate. He’s snoring on a pull out chair next to my hospital bed as
I type. I know that with him by my side I will get through this. I am also
blessed that my mother has been able to take time off from her life to come
help as well. I’m a lucky girl.
So now, we wait. I
wish I could just go back to work.
Sitting around, waiting for social programs to kick in, isn’t my style.
But, anyone that knows me knows that I have plans for staying busy. Over the
last few months, music has once again become a huge part of my life. The talented boys from Aircraft have agreed to
let me take over as their Booking/Promotion manager. So while I’m sitting around my apartment
watching Netflix, reading all those books I’ve been stacking on the shelf and
getting clearance to return to work, I will at least have something amazing to
focus on. I’m tired of having a skill
set and letting it hide behind that proverbial bushel. Time to put it to some good use.
So my plan: heal, share me love, stay focused, embrace music,
embrace myself, and continue to find my perfect path. This has happened for a reason - 99%
scientific, but that other 1% (how I choose to handle it) will define the rest
of my future. The worst part to me, the
surgery, is over. There is a probability
that I will require another surgery, but we won’t know until the final
pathology results come in. At this point, I am simply left with two options –
fight and heal. I’m taking both of
them. Thank you again for all the love,
support and warmth. My healing process
has already been amazing because of the amazing energy sent my way.
For more information on the giveforward medical fundraiser campaign
started for me, click here https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/qn45/kat-horton-s-spinal-surgery-fund.
Although I know it’s not anyone’s responsibility to help me cover medical
expenses and cost of living expenses while I recover, I often feel that we ask
for help once it’s too late. I have already received so many generous
donations. I am so grateful for the
kindness.
On that note, the valium is kicking in…time to get some more
rest and absorb all the love vibing my way.
Much Love,
Kat
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